Where will the road lead...

...just like every road, it will eventually lead to an eternal nothingness or to the edge of a cliff. It doesn't matter where the road will lead, as much as who you are taking this journey with.

I was reminded again Yesterday that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. We tend to be carried away towards a goal that we overlook the whole journey. Sayings like "stop, and smell the roses" are there to remind us that the people, the time and the method to get to where you want to go, are just as important as the final crossing line, if not, more important.

Have you ever drove to a cottage, and totally missed out the beautiful scenes along the way?

Good-Byes are the Hardest

Now that I've gone beyond being the Interns whom changes lifesytle every four months, from being working at a company to schooling, "work" has a new meaning. Over the past weekend, many intern friends that I've met at work (some of them I knew from school) has finished their work term here in Seattle, and ready to head back home for more schooling.

It's a complicated feeling seeing them go.

1. I feel like I get along closer to the interns than the full timer friends I have here. Somehow, I still am an Intern myself. Now that they are leaving, I feel like work is going to get lonely and boring. Not that I have no other friends here. If anything I have way more non-intern friends than them. But somehow I feel sad.

2. I envy them that they are still in University, and still can hide under the shelter of school. Envy them that how after 4 months, they can go home and leave work. Not that work is bad or anything, but I welcome changes.

3. I don't like saying good-byes

I wonder what the interns think about me who is no longer an intern. I think to myself when I was their age, I enjoyed finishing a work term. Now I am at a company indefinately. Life hit me faster than I wanted. If there is anything they can take away from me is this...."enjoy where you are, because you'll lose it faster than you think".

Not that I don't like where I am. I love where I am. But I do miss the past.

Heated Conversation

Screaming on a long distance phone call. How sad.

Realizing over the past two months, just how much things have changed. Promises two people who cared about each other, had broken over and over again. Grounds that were established has been eroded. Walls that severes good communication between the two people has slowly erected brick by brick.

Are there anything from the past that still make sense now? What are some of the descisions we made together in the past, still make sense this day? NONE.

Patience is gone. Tolerence is also out the window. What is there left in my human body that can still sustain this?

Why worry about Tomorrow?

Why worry about tomorrow, when tomorrow will take care of itself. Today has its own worries already to occupy me.

If tomorrow poses good surprises, then let it be a pleasant surprise. If tomorrow shall be bad, why worry and be miserable today?

I use to worry about tomorrow a lot, and miss out on the today. But a lot of times, by the time I reach tomorrow, things aren't as bad as I originally thought. Then I'd feel dumb because I've wasted out all these time worrying and missing out on things, or not enjoying things yesterday that otherwise I would've totally enjoyed.

I still do that sometimes. But I am more comfortable about not worrying.

Feminists

I had a quite interesting discovery about myself the past weekend. The discovery itself is interesting however, the result is disturbing to me.

My ex is very feminist. She doesn't like it if you offer to help her lift something, or asking her anything that suggesting she is less capable than a guy. I've began to think like that; girls are very touchy about the way guys treat them, and that they are sensitive to actions of men that will suggest we are looking down on them. I personally think it's very gentlemen like to open doors for girls, and to offer help lifting heavy stuff. But anyhow...

I went to pick up a friend of mine at the airport this weekend. As her luggage comes around, my natural instinct was to go and grab it. Somehow, my mind kicked in and posed the following question: "You sure you want to grab that? You might make her think that you think she is weak". So instead, I asked a stupid question like "Do you need help with that?". Then while waiting for the second luggage, I was thinking to myself...what's up with my thinking? What happened to me?

Argh!!

I've began not to like the person I am today.

Compromise

If you pick up any relatinoship self-help books; christian or non-christian author doesn't matter. One of the topic is about compromising. Compromising is very important in sustaining the relationship without building a brick wall between the two party over time. However, what are some of the things that can be compromised and what are the things that one should stand firm on?

Well, I would do anything for the person I love. Over time I even have compromised my values. Some of which I used to be proud of, and slowly I let those slip. So long as my loved one is happy, I thought it was ok. But, I learned something the hard way. One's value should NEVER be compromised regardless who the opponent is.

Here is why. What's considered as 'Good' will never change. Regardless how shady the world might get. So, if you hold on to a good value, and someone comes along who might not appreciate that value, makes you think you should compromise. For a while it will be fine, but what if one day, that person realizes or changes themselves for the better, and begin to put importance on that value??

What you get is...that person telling you that they don't like your value because you lack at this and that. But what they don't realize is that, the way you are today, was the result of all of the compromises you've made.

I've definately learned this lesson the hard way.